You will make mistakes. And they are right too. No, I think there was too rigid a pattern. You came out of an education and are supposed to know your vocation. It may happen. It has happened. And so he walked away from banking. I think we have a right to change course. But society is the one that keeps demanding that we fit in and not disturb things. They would like you to fit in right away so that things work now.
I have no fear of depths and a great fear of shallow living. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living.
I change every day, change my patterns, my concepts, my interpretations. I am a series of moods and sensations. I play a thousand roles. I weep when I find others play them for me. My real self is unknown. It is certainly abnormal to crave so much to be loved and understood. And the day came when the risk it took to stay tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossum. You can either give negativity power over your life or you can choose happiness instead. Take control and choose to focus on what is important in your life.
Those who cannot live fully often become destroyers of life. How can I keep it, conceal it, bury it where I may never lose it? I want to kneel as it falls over me like rain, gather it up with lace and silk, and press it over myself again.
But love, to some extent, protects you from age. I look quiet and consistent, but few know how many people there are in me. So I gave. It was not a virtue. It was a disguise. I break glasses; I want to burn, even if I break myself. I want to live only for ecstasy. She does not dare to be herself. I refuse to live in the ordinary world as ordinary women. To enter ordinary relationships. I want ecstasy. I am a neurotic β in the sense that I live in my world.
